The Devil Went Down to Starbucks
I'm a bad bad girl. I feel seriously bad for calling John Edwards's wife fat. I apologize. It was mean, and ill-conceived. I repent.
I am sorry because immediately after publishing my blog for the day, I googled the words "John Edwards's wife." For those of you who are curious about the results of this, you get an article about the $3.9 million dollars Edwards and his wife grossed in 2003 (depressing?), the couple's official website/blog, and a website entitled "John Edwards's Wife is Fat." Seriously. I mean, first off, the woman's name is Elizabeth. Second, a whole website? This is crazy. Poor woman. Poor man. I am evil.
So enough of that. However, I have still more evidence that I am evil. The other day I felt the terrible, overwhelming urge to write, so I naughtily skipped class and went to Starbucks where I could obey the powers within without the temptation of true crime drama beckoning me. So I found myself a nice table, sat down, and started writing. Then, I felt the urge for caffeine, so I went to the dreaded Starbucks counter and thought about what to get. Wanting to get something a little different, I thought about this video I saw in Spanish class about Cubans in Florida and how they drink strong espresso with whipped cream. So I ordered that. It was good and it hyped me up, so I was able to finish my fourth vignette in my short story collection (YEA Morgan!). So I decide that this is going to be my drink from now on, as it is lucky, creative, and enticing. But then yesterday I am reading the wonderful blog of an ex co-worker, and read a very interesting informal survey entitled "If the devil came into the cafe, what would he order?" Sure enough, another co-worker had answered that if the devil did come in for a coffee break, he would order an ESPRESSO WITH WHIPPED CREAM! So either the devil is Cuban, or he's ME!!! AAAGGGH!
As a matter of fact, I am feeling a bit naughty today. I am wearing black, and I did naughty things to entice my boyfriend this morning, who unfortunately, went on to work. I am also drinking a coke and eating some wonderful havarti cheese as I write this, a combination that is very sinful. And I cursed this morning when I realized that SOMEONE ate all of the good flavored Jelly Belly's, so now all that is left is Lemon Drop and Root Beer. Ooh, I am mean. Stay away, gentle readers, stay away.
I had a dream last night about Chechan militants. I wonder what that means?
Well, I should go. I have naughty things to do. I am going to read some Eudora Welty. Ooooo. Then I am going to eat some pasta with feta cheese on top. Aaaaa. Then (here's the kicker) I am going to go to class and say nerdy things!!! Frightening. Yes, the devil's going down to William and Mary. I've got some knowledge to steal (ok, ok. That's too corny even for me).
I am sorry because immediately after publishing my blog for the day, I googled the words "John Edwards's wife." For those of you who are curious about the results of this, you get an article about the $3.9 million dollars Edwards and his wife grossed in 2003 (depressing?), the couple's official website/blog, and a website entitled "John Edwards's Wife is Fat." Seriously. I mean, first off, the woman's name is Elizabeth. Second, a whole website? This is crazy. Poor woman. Poor man. I am evil.
So enough of that. However, I have still more evidence that I am evil. The other day I felt the terrible, overwhelming urge to write, so I naughtily skipped class and went to Starbucks where I could obey the powers within without the temptation of true crime drama beckoning me. So I found myself a nice table, sat down, and started writing. Then, I felt the urge for caffeine, so I went to the dreaded Starbucks counter and thought about what to get. Wanting to get something a little different, I thought about this video I saw in Spanish class about Cubans in Florida and how they drink strong espresso with whipped cream. So I ordered that. It was good and it hyped me up, so I was able to finish my fourth vignette in my short story collection (YEA Morgan!). So I decide that this is going to be my drink from now on, as it is lucky, creative, and enticing. But then yesterday I am reading the wonderful blog of an ex co-worker, and read a very interesting informal survey entitled "If the devil came into the cafe, what would he order?" Sure enough, another co-worker had answered that if the devil did come in for a coffee break, he would order an ESPRESSO WITH WHIPPED CREAM! So either the devil is Cuban, or he's ME!!! AAAGGGH!
As a matter of fact, I am feeling a bit naughty today. I am wearing black, and I did naughty things to entice my boyfriend this morning, who unfortunately, went on to work. I am also drinking a coke and eating some wonderful havarti cheese as I write this, a combination that is very sinful. And I cursed this morning when I realized that SOMEONE ate all of the good flavored Jelly Belly's, so now all that is left is Lemon Drop and Root Beer. Ooh, I am mean. Stay away, gentle readers, stay away.
I had a dream last night about Chechan militants. I wonder what that means?
Well, I should go. I have naughty things to do. I am going to read some Eudora Welty. Ooooo. Then I am going to eat some pasta with feta cheese on top. Aaaaa. Then (here's the kicker) I am going to go to class and say nerdy things!!! Frightening. Yes, the devil's going down to William and Mary. I've got some knowledge to steal (ok, ok. That's too corny even for me).
posted by Southern Belle at 10:54 AM
2 Comments:
Dear Literary Queen - I confess I have been feeling somewhat E-vil lately as well. I was watching a movie of "adult nature" the other day, in which the Devil was a black haired women wearing a lot of black and red latex and she made a reference to Starbucks that had me in tears of laughter for five minutes. I propose a meeting of evil compatriots, at starbucks, where we can drink espresso with whipped cream, think up plots for smutty detective novels, and talk about post modernism, because nothing is more evil than that.
slainte
Kathleen
Yes, my love, that sounds devine. Talking about postmodernism while drinking espresso is actually something I would expect the devil to do. If he's wearing black latex it just makes it all the more enjoyable.
Post a Comment
<< Home