When Karma and High Modernism Go Bad...
My neckhurts. My throat hurts. My bones hurt. I can see that all that positive karma I have tried to garner by taking the shopping cart back to the holder in the Target parking lot is not coming to my rescue.
I hate February. No, T.S. Eliot, February is the cruelest month. It's a proven fact. More people get sick in February than any other month. And if they're like me, they get two things back to back. Because, you know, February is short, and it has to sneak it over on you someway. Bastard.
But I am still going home this weekend. Three reasons: 1) Try on wedding dress. 2) Go shopping, hopefully having my mother pay for part of my purchases so I have something to wear when Matt and I traipse across the country. 3) Get already purchased pants hemmed by grandmother, who doesn't charge a fee. Is this sad? Shouldn't I say that I am going because I love my family? I mean, I do, but come on. A girl needs things. Nice things. Especially when her boyfriend is a wanted, loved, cajoled genius and she has to save face somehow. See, material desire strikes again. Isn't it awful? I am so conflicted on the subject of my own material shortcomings. I mean, part of me wants to be poor and bohemian but the other part wants to sell her soul for J.Crew blazers and Anthropologie dresses. And that's the biggest part. The one that's winning. Boethius would frickin' hate me. Hell, sometimes I frickin' hate me.
Maybe my desire is what is defeating my good karma and making me sick...hmmm...
Matt found out yesterday that when we go to Berkeley, we are going to get to stay with another grad student. So that means we can stay longer because it will be a pretty much free trip. I am so excited. I mean, assuming February doesn't kill me by then, I will get to stay in San Francisco during Spring Break, and then when I finally come home to (groan, groan) Williamsburg, I will get to tell all those around me that I actually did something that does not include a Law and Order marathon or the internet. I will be cool, and it's fitting, because this is my last Spring Break. Hummm.
Well, I should go. I need to pack. And I need to watch TV and eat Reese's cups. Something tells me that when I go try on my wedding dress, I'll be lucky to get it over my left thigh. Sadness. *Cough, cough*
DAMN YOU FEBRUARY!!!!!!!!!!
I hate February. No, T.S. Eliot, February is the cruelest month. It's a proven fact. More people get sick in February than any other month. And if they're like me, they get two things back to back. Because, you know, February is short, and it has to sneak it over on you someway. Bastard.
But I am still going home this weekend. Three reasons: 1) Try on wedding dress. 2) Go shopping, hopefully having my mother pay for part of my purchases so I have something to wear when Matt and I traipse across the country. 3) Get already purchased pants hemmed by grandmother, who doesn't charge a fee. Is this sad? Shouldn't I say that I am going because I love my family? I mean, I do, but come on. A girl needs things. Nice things. Especially when her boyfriend is a wanted, loved, cajoled genius and she has to save face somehow. See, material desire strikes again. Isn't it awful? I am so conflicted on the subject of my own material shortcomings. I mean, part of me wants to be poor and bohemian but the other part wants to sell her soul for J.Crew blazers and Anthropologie dresses. And that's the biggest part. The one that's winning. Boethius would frickin' hate me. Hell, sometimes I frickin' hate me.
Maybe my desire is what is defeating my good karma and making me sick...hmmm...
Matt found out yesterday that when we go to Berkeley, we are going to get to stay with another grad student. So that means we can stay longer because it will be a pretty much free trip. I am so excited. I mean, assuming February doesn't kill me by then, I will get to stay in San Francisco during Spring Break, and then when I finally come home to (groan, groan) Williamsburg, I will get to tell all those around me that I actually did something that does not include a Law and Order marathon or the internet. I will be cool, and it's fitting, because this is my last Spring Break. Hummm.
Well, I should go. I need to pack. And I need to watch TV and eat Reese's cups. Something tells me that when I go try on my wedding dress, I'll be lucky to get it over my left thigh. Sadness. *Cough, cough*
DAMN YOU FEBRUARY!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Southern Belle at 10:06 AM
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