You know everyone probably has that day where they're like, "That moment right there is when it all started going down hill." Like for instance, Mel Gibson's probably involves the moment when he thought it would be a good idea to have that third tequila shot. Britney Spears may have had the moment when she pretended to hurt her knee so that she could run around Malibu barefoot with an aspiring rap star. And perhaps George W. Bush's moment came when he finally decided to give up the sauce.
But my moment came when I decided to take a once-in-a-lifetime tutorial from the Xerox guy on how to work the new copy machine. That moment right there was when everything went downhill.
Whyever why? you ask. Why could something as simple as taking a class to learn how better to utilize the functions of the WorkCenterPro 90 be perhaps the worst decision you have ever made? And to this I answer: You are a naive fuck. Here's why: when you know how to work something like a copy machine, PEOPLE ASSUME YOU KNOW HOW TO WORK SOMETHING LIKE A COPY MACHINE. And they don't shut up--no matter the time of day, they are at my desk with these strange, wilting looks, saying things like, "I don't know what I did, but the copy machine won't work anymore. Can you come look at it? PUH-LEASE???" And to this, I have to, of course, go look at the darn thing and delete their job or whatever it is, all the time listening to their halfwit explanations--"I just put it in once. I swear I did. And it made this weird noise. I think it just doesn't like me. I think I hit the right button, but what would happen if I didn't?" Oh. My. Lord. It is crazily infuriating. Like you have no idea.
And here's the thing: I work at a university. Note that it's not exactly Ivy League around here, but there are more than enough Ph.D.'s roaming the halls to make it a more enlightened environment than say, a truck stop. But no one here can use the damn copier. They can't even follow the on-screen guides which tell you how to remove paper jams and the like. They can just stand there and look bewildered and bellow for me to come "FIX IT! FIX IT PLEASE!"
So, yes, folks. That is when it happened. On the morning that I met the Xerox man, my life began its long depression into suckitude.
Thank God for Jack Daniels.
But my moment came when I decided to take a once-in-a-lifetime tutorial from the Xerox guy on how to work the new copy machine. That moment right there was when everything went downhill.
Whyever why? you ask. Why could something as simple as taking a class to learn how better to utilize the functions of the WorkCenterPro 90 be perhaps the worst decision you have ever made? And to this I answer: You are a naive fuck. Here's why: when you know how to work something like a copy machine, PEOPLE ASSUME YOU KNOW HOW TO WORK SOMETHING LIKE A COPY MACHINE. And they don't shut up--no matter the time of day, they are at my desk with these strange, wilting looks, saying things like, "I don't know what I did, but the copy machine won't work anymore. Can you come look at it? PUH-LEASE???" And to this, I have to, of course, go look at the darn thing and delete their job or whatever it is, all the time listening to their halfwit explanations--"I just put it in once. I swear I did. And it made this weird noise. I think it just doesn't like me. I think I hit the right button, but what would happen if I didn't?" Oh. My. Lord. It is crazily infuriating. Like you have no idea.
And here's the thing: I work at a university. Note that it's not exactly Ivy League around here, but there are more than enough Ph.D.'s roaming the halls to make it a more enlightened environment than say, a truck stop. But no one here can use the damn copier. They can't even follow the on-screen guides which tell you how to remove paper jams and the like. They can just stand there and look bewildered and bellow for me to come "FIX IT! FIX IT PLEASE!"
So, yes, folks. That is when it happened. On the morning that I met the Xerox man, my life began its long depression into suckitude.
Thank God for Jack Daniels.
posted by Southern Belle at 2:57 PM
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