Cool as a cucumber, lovin' grade school style

Well, the family has retired to their hotel for the night, so here I am, single and cute on a Saturday night. Ho hum. Looks like another night for me to sit at home and enjoy with my two favorite men: David Bowie and Elliot Stabler from L&O:SVU.

So on the love front...today we had a meeting at work. Honey, I mean to tell you I played it cool (as evidenced by the title of today's extraordinary edition). Seriously. Lots of lip gloss and a cooler than thou attitude contributed to a totally mesmerizing performance that even I was proud of. Our lovely midget seemed intrigued, yet I didn't give him the pleasure of speaking to me, choosing merely to flash him a couple of dazzling smiles. As you can probably tell, I am very proud of myself. I think my friend was proud as well. A couple of days of this and I should be finally ready to cheat on David and Elliot. Score one for the home team!

I love how this teensy crush has turned me into a Cosmo columnist. He he. I like my new girlie self, but I swear to God, I think I could get sick of it quickly. I think I lose brain cells with every giggle I utter and every tube of lip gloss I consume. And it's not a conscious decision. Since entering the single world, I think I have become less Jessie Spano and more Kelly Kapowski without even really thinking it over. Maybe I have lost the ability to think. It is a distinct possibility. My family says I am "bubblier." Whatever that means, I think it probably must be good, as they smile at me a lot, and have given me money. Again, score one for the home team!

Well, I must go. Before I settle in with Elliot, I think I will journey out for some adult beverages. Tonight I shall buy something tasty. Ha ha, world. I am a dumb girly woman with a bit of money and a raging need for sugared down alcoholic beverages. Hear me roar.