Letter of Truth: Spederline Spawn Edition
Hello to All My Loyal Fans:
Hey yall! It's me, Britney. Remember me? Morgan was nice enough to let me update her blog for her, given as how I've got such TOTALLY AWESOME news. Yeppers, you guessed it...my sweet baby was born today! I think we're going to name him Michael Preston Spears Federline, which is a totally cool name (even better Justin, which is stupid, stupid name). I am SOOO not going to name him Vegas, no matter what SOME PEOPLE (who shall remain nameless, Fevin Kederline) say, because that is just stupid (but still not as stupid as Justin).
Yall, it hurt so much. Pregnancy was just not as cool as I thought it was going to be, because even though you get to eat a lot, you have to eat HEALTHY STUFF, which sucks. I mean, how was I supposed to know that Cheetos and Frappucinos aren't good for the baby? I mean, it's cheese, which I'm pretty sure is a member of the dairy family. So how can it not be good. And then, as if that's not enough, it seriously HURTS when the baby's ready to come. AND HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHERE THAT THING WAS GOING TO COME OUT? I SOOOO DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THAT! So that's why I got a C-section. I mean, God. That other way with the pushing and the sweating and stretching and tearing is just so not natural. Having a baby surgically removed from your limp body when you're knocked out cold and dreaming about dipping your hands in that orange powder that they roll Cheetos in is SOOOO much better.
Well, I'm tired now, so I'm going to end this up. The baby's crying again. He's just a few hours old, and I swear he's already like his father, in that he won't stop bitching and he won't get a job. But he's cute any way. And, yall, that's all that matters.
Love yall,
Britney (and Preston)
Hey yall! It's me, Britney. Remember me? Morgan was nice enough to let me update her blog for her, given as how I've got such TOTALLY AWESOME news. Yeppers, you guessed it...my sweet baby was born today! I think we're going to name him Michael Preston Spears Federline, which is a totally cool name (even better Justin, which is stupid, stupid name). I am SOOO not going to name him Vegas, no matter what SOME PEOPLE (who shall remain nameless, Fevin Kederline) say, because that is just stupid (but still not as stupid as Justin).
Yall, it hurt so much. Pregnancy was just not as cool as I thought it was going to be, because even though you get to eat a lot, you have to eat HEALTHY STUFF, which sucks. I mean, how was I supposed to know that Cheetos and Frappucinos aren't good for the baby? I mean, it's cheese, which I'm pretty sure is a member of the dairy family. So how can it not be good. And then, as if that's not enough, it seriously HURTS when the baby's ready to come. AND HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHERE THAT THING WAS GOING TO COME OUT? I SOOOO DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THAT! So that's why I got a C-section. I mean, God. That other way with the pushing and the sweating and stretching and tearing is just so not natural. Having a baby surgically removed from your limp body when you're knocked out cold and dreaming about dipping your hands in that orange powder that they roll Cheetos in is SOOOO much better.
Well, I'm tired now, so I'm going to end this up. The baby's crying again. He's just a few hours old, and I swear he's already like his father, in that he won't stop bitching and he won't get a job. But he's cute any way. And, yall, that's all that matters.
Love yall,
Britney (and Preston)
posted by Southern Belle at 7:49 PM
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