On Religion and the Smashing Pumpkins

So I successfully evaded going to church this morning by playing comatose. Even I don't think it was very convincing. I just laid incredibly still in bed and just barely grunted when mom asked if I wanted to go. I was really burning up under all the covers, but I stayed there until she was completely gone, and well, it worked.

I really have nothing against going to church with my mom, even though she goes to this huge church where everybody is so high on Jesus that they're probably about 3/4 of the way to heaven already. When I go, I always tell myself that I am doing it for my writing, because what's a southern writer without stories about religious crazies? But they're not crazies, really, overall they are nice people. However, there's just something about that place that makes me feel like I'm in some kind of circus, and I don't like it. I don't know why. It's not a yearning for conversion--in fact, I think it's quite the opposite. I always feel wierd because when I go there, because I don't feel anything but that circus feeling. No yearning for God or religion or anything. I always just feel really secure in my un-Christian state, with no desire to change anything. Which I guess is a good thing. I don't know.

I think that the thing that bothers me the most about church is that for all that talk that Christians do about family, they don't really adhere to it very much because they are always at church. I grew up in an area where everyone went to church and most people's families were heavily involved in something or another. And it always seemed to me that if we all spent our time together, as a family, instead of sitting in some building doing stuff for other people who may or may not appreciate it, our lives would benefit. Both Matt and I came from this type of overly-involved family, and I think that could be the reason why we are not religious now. That, and we have discovered the outright beauty of Sunday morning together. To me, there is absolutely nothing better than Sunday morning with Matt. We sleep, we read the paper, we eat doughnuts--it's perfect. And it makes me feel sad that other people don't do that. And since Matt is going to church with his family this morning, I really, really miss him. Does anyone ever stop to figure up how many divorces are caused by too much religion, rather than not enough? Probably not.

Well, since I rather dislike talking about religion, I am going to drop it, and talk about the Smashing Pumpkins, whose greatest hits collection I purchased last night. The Smashing Pumpkins were my favorite band when I was about 13-14 (I loved Billie Joe for his body, but Billy Corgan for his tortured little mind). And so I bestow on you this handy dandy list of why the Smashing Pumpkins still rock:

Six Reasons Why I Still Love the Smashing Pumpkins
1. Because now I actually understand what the lyrics mean.
2. Because one of the first gifts Matt ever gave me was the Adore cd, even though he had never heard them before.
3. Because the song 1979 still manages to make me feel like I am sitting in someone's backseat, riding through town, looking for the boy I have a crush on.
4. Because I would love to introduce the word "smashing" into my everyday conversation (as in, 'This Smashing Pumpkins cd really is smashing.')
5. Because I was having a really shitty day yesterday, and then I bought this cd and I felt like I was 13 again with no real worries in the world.
6. Because if you had told me when I was 13 that I would still be listening to the Smashing Pumpkins at 22, I would have thought I had turned out ok.