A Break-Up Missive

Dear Law and Order,
We need to talk. Really. I know you weren't really expecting to hear those words from me, but, let's face, the writing is on the wall. It's over, Law and Order. Yeah, we've had some good times, but it's time for me to move on. In fact, I have moved on already. Don't look at me like that--you had to know that it was going on. No, it's not important "who with." The point is, I've moved on. And I know you're sad now, but you're going to move on too. Ok?

Oh, where did we go wrong? I think it started when you insisted on having a goddamn twist ending on every single episode. That was just too much. Yeah, I know I'm being harsh, but just listen. Ok? Plus, you know I love me some Southern Fried wit and humor, but do you have to hit me over the head with Fred D. Thompson. Look, I get that he's a country lawyer who made it to the big city. But if I hear one more quip about I will punch you in the throat!!! Ok, I'm sorry, that was out of line. I'll calm down.

Law and Order, we have always been so close. You got me through high school, you got me through college, and we still have some great times when I'm folding laundry and you're on TNT and I can't find anything else to drain all those hard earned brain cells. But I can't make time for you on your new night, Friday, any more. Sure, I might let the TiVo record the first few episodes. But you're not going to be the number one priority in my schedule any more. I'm sorry. I have to move on.

I'm sorry. But hey, at least we'll have the marathons!

Love,
Morgan