The Cyclical Nature of Time

With a title like that, I can't possibly begin by talking about my pithy dissatisfaction with the Oscars last night...oh yes, actually, I can. Despite the fact that I, for the first time in four years, won my annual Oscar bet with Matt, I was dissapointed with the Oscars. Three reasons: 1) A film about boxing won, 2) Sean Penn looked fat, and 3) Johnny Depp looked like an unemployed writer going to a funeral. While I did not see "Million Dollar Baby," and it may very well be the best thing ever committed to celluloid, I have a hard time getting behind a movie directed by Clint Eastwood that involves any kind of man to man fisticuffs. Sorry. And then there's Sean, who normally toasts my waffle in the best way, but looked like an alcoholic who just spend the last five hours at TGI Friday's. Sadness. And he took up for Jude Law, which let's all face it here, may be eye candy, but is wearing out his welcome to say the least. And then there's Johnny, and don't get me wrong, I looooooooves me some Johnny Depp, but come on. Ascot? Blue jacket? Geek glasses? THIS IS THE OSCARS! YOU ARE JOHNNY DEPP! COME ON! I know you want to look eccentric, but God, you got 364 other days for that. Just come out and look hot and give me good memories for the next year. Ok? Is that too much to ask, Mr. Depp? I didn't think so. And by the way, I would STILL go see you dressed up like a hot dog and hell, I would be the mustard. Seriously.

So on to more observant, less accusatory things. I am starting to realize that the older I get, the more I become like myself at age 13. It's like I've had this vacation from me for about 8 years, and then BAM, I come home, and everything's just as I left it.

How I Resemble Me at 13
1. Current strange obsession with Billie Joe Armstrong and all things Green Day.
2. Current desire to move to NYC.
3. Current choice of writing as appropriate career goal.
4. Current wearing of Doc Martens and Chuck Taylors (albeit lighter, more comfy Doc's).
5. Current state of hair (long and dark).

Seriously. It's weird. And what's weirder about it is that I feel comfy in my own skin. I'm happy. I'm good. I'm totally at peace with where I'm going and what I'm doing. It's like I had it figured out at 13, and then spent all these years fighting against that knowledge of what I am. I mean, I've tried it all over the years. Once I wore trendy shoes from some hideous store in the mall. Once I entered the School of Education, a thing that was just as stupid and ill-conceived as the uncomfortable shoes and high prices spent on the damn things. Once I listened to show tunes and wanted to move tto Nova. I had short, PTA mom hair.

So I wonder: How many other people had it figured out when the were young, and then changed because they thought they had to, because of something this culture told them was wrong and was not worthy of their time. I wonder what our nation would be like if we all went with what we dreamed about when we were 12. I mean, why can't people follow their dreams? It's cheesy, but I mean, shouldn't it just make sense? You'd think.

Well, I guess that's enough for today. I don't know if I fulfilled the lofty ideas of my title, but, sorry. I guess I devoted too much time to my obsession with Johnny Depp. Oh well. You just can't devote too much time to Johnny, no matter what he's got around his neck.