A Plea to the American People
Ok, American People. You didn't vote my way in November, but you know, that's ok. I'll get over it. But here's the thing. You're not watching Britney Spears's new reality show "Chaotic" which comes on Tuesdays on UPN (in case you weren't sure about the time and place of said show). And the thing is, Britney's got some problems over it. According to a British paper, my number 1 Britster is seeking counseling because UPN wants to cancel the show and she is worried over her waning popularity. And we don't want that do we? I didn't think so.
Ok, so I understand the reasons not to watch it are high. Yes, it sucks. Yes, you have to take Dramamine before you watch it because the jumping camera will make you physically ill. Yes, there is a whole, whole lot of K-Fed. And yes, the word "retarded" is used quite overzealously. But (and that is a mighty big but) the benefits are also high. Where else are you going to be able to hear sex discussed in such ugly, base terms (besides your local junior high school, of course)? Where else can you see two peoples' tongues colliding in full night visioned glory (besides your latest Paris Hilton film, of course)? And where else can you see two incredibly rich, incredibly lucky people, and go away thinking, "Yeah, you know, my life is not that bad. In fact, I'm a pretty smart, hip person!" NOWHERE! NOWHERE I TELL YOU!
Thus my point: You should watch "Chaotic" because it will make you very, very glad that your parents didn't sell you into the white slavery that is pop stardom. You should watch "Chaotic" because it will make you feel like a freaking genius, even if you have problems seperating the whites from the darks and discerning the symbolism behind a Hilary Duff song. You should watch "Chaotic" because it is the stupidest show on television, and don't we need that?
So watch Chaotic. You will be happy you did. And so will Britney. And isn't that what truly matters?
Ok, so I understand the reasons not to watch it are high. Yes, it sucks. Yes, you have to take Dramamine before you watch it because the jumping camera will make you physically ill. Yes, there is a whole, whole lot of K-Fed. And yes, the word "retarded" is used quite overzealously. But (and that is a mighty big but) the benefits are also high. Where else are you going to be able to hear sex discussed in such ugly, base terms (besides your local junior high school, of course)? Where else can you see two peoples' tongues colliding in full night visioned glory (besides your latest Paris Hilton film, of course)? And where else can you see two incredibly rich, incredibly lucky people, and go away thinking, "Yeah, you know, my life is not that bad. In fact, I'm a pretty smart, hip person!" NOWHERE! NOWHERE I TELL YOU!
Thus my point: You should watch "Chaotic" because it will make you very, very glad that your parents didn't sell you into the white slavery that is pop stardom. You should watch "Chaotic" because it will make you feel like a freaking genius, even if you have problems seperating the whites from the darks and discerning the symbolism behind a Hilary Duff song. You should watch "Chaotic" because it is the stupidest show on television, and don't we need that?
So watch Chaotic. You will be happy you did. And so will Britney. And isn't that what truly matters?
posted by Southern Belle at 11:43 AM
1 Comments:
Hey babe
thought you might like this:
http://www.anomalies-unlimited.com/Britney.html
And if I don't see you before The Big Day, congratulations, good luck, have fun in Berkley, etc etc.
I would however, like to go get a drink with you before you do run off.
-kathleen
Post a Comment
<< Home