Question Time, Question Time!
I was having quite the shitty day, despite the best efforts of my lovable husband who managed to make me shoot tea out of my nose at dinner because of his comments about a fat man in denim overalls. Yes, it has sucked, and if I were a more melodramatic, bitchy human being, I might tell you about it. But I'm not, I actually consider myself to be sane, so I'm going to tell you about the other good thing that happened.
A blog that I regularly read had a question session, where you could send in questions that you wanted answered and the guy would answer them. I never thought that my question would be answered--I have never been lucky, except for this one time when Matt took me to see The Princess Bride and I won the $26 door prize. But anyway, he did, so here is his stellar answer.
Why are midgets and really short men so attractive to me? Can you find me a midget or really short man to have as my very own?morgan
Well Morgan, I think you like really short guys because you enjoy dominating men. That, and because you have a really shallow vagina and you know that chances are short men won't be able to hurt you like bigger men can. Secondly, I would gladly help you try to find a midget of your very own, but I don't think I'll be able to. When you walk around New York you really don't look down. 99% of the time you don't want to know what you're stepping on. I could walk through a pile of money and not know because I don't want to risk looking down and seeing a pile of dog shit under my shoe, or a dead baby. Here in NY, there's a good chance it could be either of those.
Isn't that awesome? Except where he makes unheeded observations about my goodies, but still--doesn't that rock? I think he's right--I am a dominatrix in disguise. Or maybe I am. I don't know. But it's cool none the less.
So in the spirit of solving problems, I am taking questions, mostly because I just like hearing from people. Ask me as many as you want--I will answer them all and post them here. Just post them as comments. And don't forget to answer my questions in the post immediately after this one. When I last checked, Cap'n K was my only brave answering soul. C'mon guys! Let's all get close and learn things about each other!!! Yea!!! Doesn't that make you feel all good inside!!!!
Excuse me, but I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. I haven't heard anyone talk like that since Freshman Orientation. Gee whiz.
A blog that I regularly read had a question session, where you could send in questions that you wanted answered and the guy would answer them. I never thought that my question would be answered--I have never been lucky, except for this one time when Matt took me to see The Princess Bride and I won the $26 door prize. But anyway, he did, so here is his stellar answer.
Why are midgets and really short men so attractive to me? Can you find me a midget or really short man to have as my very own?morgan
Well Morgan, I think you like really short guys because you enjoy dominating men. That, and because you have a really shallow vagina and you know that chances are short men won't be able to hurt you like bigger men can. Secondly, I would gladly help you try to find a midget of your very own, but I don't think I'll be able to. When you walk around New York you really don't look down. 99% of the time you don't want to know what you're stepping on. I could walk through a pile of money and not know because I don't want to risk looking down and seeing a pile of dog shit under my shoe, or a dead baby. Here in NY, there's a good chance it could be either of those.
Isn't that awesome? Except where he makes unheeded observations about my goodies, but still--doesn't that rock? I think he's right--I am a dominatrix in disguise. Or maybe I am. I don't know. But it's cool none the less.
So in the spirit of solving problems, I am taking questions, mostly because I just like hearing from people. Ask me as many as you want--I will answer them all and post them here. Just post them as comments. And don't forget to answer my questions in the post immediately after this one. When I last checked, Cap'n K was my only brave answering soul. C'mon guys! Let's all get close and learn things about each other!!! Yea!!! Doesn't that make you feel all good inside!!!!
Excuse me, but I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. I haven't heard anyone talk like that since Freshman Orientation. Gee whiz.
posted by Southern Belle at 8:37 PM
1 Comments:
hmmm...you do know you have just opened a can of worms, right?
Why do I like unattainable guys?
What is this fascination with midget priests who like the sauce?
Why do I want to finish college?
Why do we have little hairs all over our body if we just shave them off?
Why is Bam Margera such an asshole? Why do his parents put up with that little shit head?
Will I ever get to meet and woo my lovely Jake Gyllenhaal?
Will I walk down the aisle to a David Bowie song like my mentor Morgan?
Could I pull off the bed sheet look?
Why have all of my friends gone away?
Why do I continue to work at BAM even though I hate it?
Why are there like 50 different blog sites? Why is it not all of my friends can decide on one, so I have to open up accounts on blogs I will never write in to comment on their blogs?
What is the deal with pink polo shirts? I will never be able to accept a man who wears a pink polo.
When will David Bowie rock out the hits again?
Why does the new Real World suck hardcore, but I still watch it?
Why is it I can't seem to turn the volume of my voice down?
Will you buy me a laptop? Pretty please?
How about an IPod?
that is all for now, I will think of more, I promise.
-Katie
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