Get over here! I've got some questions for you!
I just realized how much my title makes me sound like Mr. Belding. So be a real suck-up, Jessie Spano, and answer these questions for me.
1) Who started telling people (esp. middle aged women) that wearing sweatpants in public is ok? Because I think we should have had a vote. This is a democracy, you know. And I think I speak for all of the non-blind citizens in this country when I say that this is an epidemic that needs to be stopped.
2) Do you know anyone in the International Relations club who is not a douche? Because I don't. Seriously. Please post a comment if you do, because I want to take that non-douchelike Model UN-er out to dinner. And it will be somewhere nice. More on this later.
3) Do you have any Nick Hornby books laying around that you don't want? Could you send them my way? I am in love with the man. Seriously. And I know I'm about 10 years too late in discovering this fine fella. I don't get out much. More on this later, also.
4, possibly pertaining to 3) If you have a baby by a British man, will it automatically have bad teeth?
5) Does the AA group still meet in BAM on Wednesdays? I am thinking of this for odd reasons.
So back to question 2. I don't want to offend people, but people on the Model UN team really are the most pretentious dicks. Look, we know you beat some German kids and some people from UNC-Charlotte and won some competition. But we don't care. I don't really care about the real UN, much less the fake one. So shut up. I know it's hard, but shut your goddamned piehole. Oh and just so you know, a hometown zip code that is close to Washington DC does not give you infinite knowledge of American foreign policy. Mull that one around for a while, douchebag.
Because really, Model UN people are just better dressed Dungeons and Dragons people. They all pretend to do something all day, and expect the world to give a damn. And we don't. A fantasy life is a fantasy life, whether you fantasize about faerie worlds or Kofi Annan.
And no, I'm not jealous. My heart is just made of ash.
Over the weekend, when I was of course, not saving the world from impending nuclear doom, I read Nick Hornby's The Polysyllabic Spree, which is totally delightful and explains my current giggly schoolgirl crush. Further, now I am keeping a log of books bought and read, and guess what my little apple dumplings? You're going to get to read about it at month's end! Yea!
And finally, questions for Tom DeLay:
1) I belong to the culture of death! Can I have your soul? Mwah hah hah hah. It will go well with the ground up baby legs I am eating tonight! Because life is not sacred to me! I Heart death! Without a God to cling to, I am a cannibalistic death-lover.
2) Seriously. Is that what you think your opponents are like? Jesus man. You need to get laid.
1) Who started telling people (esp. middle aged women) that wearing sweatpants in public is ok? Because I think we should have had a vote. This is a democracy, you know. And I think I speak for all of the non-blind citizens in this country when I say that this is an epidemic that needs to be stopped.
2) Do you know anyone in the International Relations club who is not a douche? Because I don't. Seriously. Please post a comment if you do, because I want to take that non-douchelike Model UN-er out to dinner. And it will be somewhere nice. More on this later.
3) Do you have any Nick Hornby books laying around that you don't want? Could you send them my way? I am in love with the man. Seriously. And I know I'm about 10 years too late in discovering this fine fella. I don't get out much. More on this later, also.
4, possibly pertaining to 3) If you have a baby by a British man, will it automatically have bad teeth?
5) Does the AA group still meet in BAM on Wednesdays? I am thinking of this for odd reasons.
So back to question 2. I don't want to offend people, but people on the Model UN team really are the most pretentious dicks. Look, we know you beat some German kids and some people from UNC-Charlotte and won some competition. But we don't care. I don't really care about the real UN, much less the fake one. So shut up. I know it's hard, but shut your goddamned piehole. Oh and just so you know, a hometown zip code that is close to Washington DC does not give you infinite knowledge of American foreign policy. Mull that one around for a while, douchebag.
Because really, Model UN people are just better dressed Dungeons and Dragons people. They all pretend to do something all day, and expect the world to give a damn. And we don't. A fantasy life is a fantasy life, whether you fantasize about faerie worlds or Kofi Annan.
And no, I'm not jealous. My heart is just made of ash.
Over the weekend, when I was of course, not saving the world from impending nuclear doom, I read Nick Hornby's The Polysyllabic Spree, which is totally delightful and explains my current giggly schoolgirl crush. Further, now I am keeping a log of books bought and read, and guess what my little apple dumplings? You're going to get to read about it at month's end! Yea!
And finally, questions for Tom DeLay:
1) I belong to the culture of death! Can I have your soul? Mwah hah hah hah. It will go well with the ground up baby legs I am eating tonight! Because life is not sacred to me! I Heart death! Without a God to cling to, I am a cannibalistic death-lover.
2) Seriously. Is that what you think your opponents are like? Jesus man. You need to get laid.
posted by Southern Belle at 11:03 AM
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