I‘m really sick of sitting in your urine
To the ladies of the world,
So what’s up? How’ve you been? I’ve been ok, just kind of busy you know. But you see, I got this problem. You see, every time I go to the bathroom outsde of my apartment, there’s piss all over the toilet. And me, you know I drink a lot of tea and I’m always in a hurry so I just sit down in it without looking and before you know it my ass is covered in your urine. Sick huh? Thought so.
And this is all because you, you immaculate being, choose to hover over the toilet like a big fat insect because lord knows you can’t put your pristine ass on that wretched public toilet seat. Never mind the irony that the only reason anyone would ever actually do this is because the hovering people are the ones who’ve made it dirty. No, don’t even think about that. Just answer me. What are you so scared of? Do you think a rabid rat is going to hop out of the toilet and bite your lovely seated ass? Do you think you’ll get crabs from the local Target? I mean, how stupid are you? Unless your ass is covered in open lesions you’ve probably got nothing to worry about.
But I understand that I ‘m not gong to change your mind. You’ve seen too many episodes of Dateline, too many scaredy-ass shows and you know science dammit don’t you? Your ass will remain pristine and perfect because you are never ever gong to soil it by sitting on a public toilet. So will you do this for me? See, I’ve got a handy dandy list that will make both of our lives better—yours because you won’t get ass crabs or whatever you’re scared of and mine because won’t have to sit in your sprayed urine. Ready? Why don’t you use the toilet at home? In other words, if you can’t take the heat get out of the kitchen. Don’t even go into the public toilet. Or why don’t you use those sani-ass covers that you can buy anywhere and that will cover the seat so neither your ass nor your piss will touch it? Wouldn’t that be lovely?
But whatever you do, don’t hover. It’s disgusting, you leave a mess and seriously, just imagine what you look like, your pristine fat ass kept perfectly clean by the full 6 inches of air that protects it from the dangers of the toilet seat. Lovely huh?
Love and kisses,
morg
So what’s up? How’ve you been? I’ve been ok, just kind of busy you know. But you see, I got this problem. You see, every time I go to the bathroom outsde of my apartment, there’s piss all over the toilet. And me, you know I drink a lot of tea and I’m always in a hurry so I just sit down in it without looking and before you know it my ass is covered in your urine. Sick huh? Thought so.
And this is all because you, you immaculate being, choose to hover over the toilet like a big fat insect because lord knows you can’t put your pristine ass on that wretched public toilet seat. Never mind the irony that the only reason anyone would ever actually do this is because the hovering people are the ones who’ve made it dirty. No, don’t even think about that. Just answer me. What are you so scared of? Do you think a rabid rat is going to hop out of the toilet and bite your lovely seated ass? Do you think you’ll get crabs from the local Target? I mean, how stupid are you? Unless your ass is covered in open lesions you’ve probably got nothing to worry about.
But I understand that I ‘m not gong to change your mind. You’ve seen too many episodes of Dateline, too many scaredy-ass shows and you know science dammit don’t you? Your ass will remain pristine and perfect because you are never ever gong to soil it by sitting on a public toilet. So will you do this for me? See, I’ve got a handy dandy list that will make both of our lives better—yours because you won’t get ass crabs or whatever you’re scared of and mine because won’t have to sit in your sprayed urine. Ready? Why don’t you use the toilet at home? In other words, if you can’t take the heat get out of the kitchen. Don’t even go into the public toilet. Or why don’t you use those sani-ass covers that you can buy anywhere and that will cover the seat so neither your ass nor your piss will touch it? Wouldn’t that be lovely?
But whatever you do, don’t hover. It’s disgusting, you leave a mess and seriously, just imagine what you look like, your pristine fat ass kept perfectly clean by the full 6 inches of air that protects it from the dangers of the toilet seat. Lovely huh?
Love and kisses,
morg
posted by Southern Belle at 11:32 AM
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