"You should never mourn bad poets."--Prof. Savage, badass Milton man and fellow Britney lover

So. As I sit here, pondering the beauty of Miltonic verse, I am reminded of another great poet that I should share with you uncultured beasts:

The Honeymoon Poem
By Britney Spears

A honeymoon at last, to get away from it all
My assistant Fe gave me the call.

I remember it well, as she was smilin'
She said it was called Turtle Island.

I packed my bags light and quick,
Then grabbed my pink dress & favorite lipstick.

We hopped on a plane and took our flight
I slept really well, all through the night.

As we arrive, I turn and look out the door,
People are greeting us right at the shore.

A meal, a shower and some ice cream
Then I threw my man down, you know what I mean!

Magical nights filled with stars
Silence is golden, no running cars.

Private dinners, romantic fires
Little piece of heaven, whatever your heart desires.

Friendly "hellos" and never goodbyes
When you're having fun, oh, how time flies!

As we sit and prepare to make our part
I thank you, Turtle Island, with all my heart!

(wipe that smirk off your face, I'm not shitting you, Kathleen)

Here, it is evident that Britney's rhyming couplet style, reminiscent of the lines used in early Romantic poetry (actually...), is meant to create a friendly, relaxed atmosphere. The mood is also created through the use of explanation points. Moreover, Britney's use of language, most pointedly her description of "ice cream" before the veiled reference to coital love, indicates a deceptively simple style that is not easily categorized.

Yes, I've been in college way too long. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for Ms. Spears. But that doesn't change my love for her one iota. I can forgive her bad poetry as long as she remains my BFF foreva and eva. LOVE YA BRIT!!!