Lifestyles of the Ultra-Modern Housewife
As it is now post-graduation, post-wedding, and pre-job, I have found myself with an alarming lack of stuff to do. Seriously. It is odd. I seriously LIVE for the moment Matt comes home, as tonight I prepared a wonderful three-cheese fondue, with chocolate kahlua fondue for dessert, and didn't think a thing about it until I realized that I spent about 2 hours slicing apples, grating cheese, and dusting confectioners' sugar over a panoply of fresh fruit delicately arranged in a flower shape. I shit you not. I did that. For no real reason except that I have hardly anything else to do.
What I Did Today: (keep in mind I am not joking, nor am I copying out of the Feminine Mystique's chapter on Housewife Syndrome)
8:00: got up, showered, put on a skirt and slutty shirt for reasons that escape me now
9:00: went to Ukrops, tooled around for a while because it just seemed like the right thing to do. Sniffed fruit to see if it was fresh (fool me once...). Spent $1.69 on one bottled organic tea/juice beverage. Talked to myself in the grocery aisles.
10:00: came home, put groceries up, called mother, made strange conversation about my aunt's addiction to prescription pain killers and how this was somehow funny
11:00: put on strange stretchy pants, exercised to excercise video, openly cheered for myself
12:00: watched City Confidential, ate huge bowl of pasta and in doing so, totally negated said exercise video
1:00: sort of halfway watched American Justice, called volunteer places in Oakland to check on opportunities, made a point to say "my husband" at least 4 times per phone call, pulled up resume documents and changed my name on them
2:00: washed dishes while listening to The Futureheads
3:00: folded laundry
4:00: went to Target out of sheer boredom, purchased Father's Day card, a new tube of lip balm, a jar of face cream, a new wallet, and a cooler (once again, Target sinks its French manicured nails into me and forces me to buy something I would never need in five million years)
5:00: Matt comes home, cheered excitedly, worked on fondue while talking excitedly about my boring day, fidgeted with slutty shirt
6:00: consumed mass quantity of fondue and half a bottle of Chardonnay, laughed about the incredible excitement that food brings me
7:00: Matt goes to Target to buy soap and Father's Day cards, I sit here and write this list while watching the first of many episodes of Law and Order
Isn't that sad? Not long ago, I was sitting in a classroom saying witty things about Milton. Now I'm...not. Part of me cannot wait to get started at work. It is so wierd this housewifery. I don't know how people do it. I mean, you have stuff to do, in a way, but it's all pithy and sort of boring. Right now, my entire world is Matt and food. That, my friends, can't be healthy.
I should go. I am reading White Teeth (again, I know I am totally behind on reading, but please remember that I have been boning up on the "classics" for the past four years). Right now, the book and my diploma hanging on the wall is the only reminder I have of what I was not two months prior.
What I Did Today: (keep in mind I am not joking, nor am I copying out of the Feminine Mystique's chapter on Housewife Syndrome)
8:00: got up, showered, put on a skirt and slutty shirt for reasons that escape me now
9:00: went to Ukrops, tooled around for a while because it just seemed like the right thing to do. Sniffed fruit to see if it was fresh (fool me once...). Spent $1.69 on one bottled organic tea/juice beverage. Talked to myself in the grocery aisles.
10:00: came home, put groceries up, called mother, made strange conversation about my aunt's addiction to prescription pain killers and how this was somehow funny
11:00: put on strange stretchy pants, exercised to excercise video, openly cheered for myself
12:00: watched City Confidential, ate huge bowl of pasta and in doing so, totally negated said exercise video
1:00: sort of halfway watched American Justice, called volunteer places in Oakland to check on opportunities, made a point to say "my husband" at least 4 times per phone call, pulled up resume documents and changed my name on them
2:00: washed dishes while listening to The Futureheads
3:00: folded laundry
4:00: went to Target out of sheer boredom, purchased Father's Day card, a new tube of lip balm, a jar of face cream, a new wallet, and a cooler (once again, Target sinks its French manicured nails into me and forces me to buy something I would never need in five million years)
5:00: Matt comes home, cheered excitedly, worked on fondue while talking excitedly about my boring day, fidgeted with slutty shirt
6:00: consumed mass quantity of fondue and half a bottle of Chardonnay, laughed about the incredible excitement that food brings me
7:00: Matt goes to Target to buy soap and Father's Day cards, I sit here and write this list while watching the first of many episodes of Law and Order
Isn't that sad? Not long ago, I was sitting in a classroom saying witty things about Milton. Now I'm...not. Part of me cannot wait to get started at work. It is so wierd this housewifery. I don't know how people do it. I mean, you have stuff to do, in a way, but it's all pithy and sort of boring. Right now, my entire world is Matt and food. That, my friends, can't be healthy.
I should go. I am reading White Teeth (again, I know I am totally behind on reading, but please remember that I have been boning up on the "classics" for the past four years). Right now, the book and my diploma hanging on the wall is the only reminder I have of what I was not two months prior.
posted by Southern Belle at 7:34 PM
2 Comments:
You need to do one of two things.
1) Get a job, then you won't be bored.
2) Get pregnant and have a baby. As you are a newly wed and young I suggest option 1. Kids kill everything. Free time .... gone, sex life..... non existant (kinda hard to accomplish anything when as soon as you begin, a 2 year old wanders in and asks "How you naked?"
So get a job, at least with a job, you get to looking forward to going home and getting some sleep.
Thanks for the advice, O-Nameless-One. Trouble is, I can't get a job here because I'm leaving very, very soon to move (and I have a job there that starts on August 15). And the pregnancy thing--I'd rather be bored.
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